A Low Stress Approach to Quitting Your Job
Source: Vecteezy
A challenge some of our career-minded clients encounter is knowing how to manage the anxiety that comes with leaving one job for another opportunity. It’s common for them to view the conversation with their boss as a major source of stress. Getting support during the transition can help manage anxious thoughts. Understanding your anxiety and working with it can lead to the ability to broach the topic with your boss from a more self-assured and collaborative place, making the transition a positive experience for both parties.
ACKNOWLEDGE THE ANXIETY
Awareness that there is anxiety coming up for you around changing career paths is the first step to confronting this challenge. Does the anxiety make sense for you? Are there contributing factors to the anxiety? Perhaps there was a situation with a coworker that left you feeling fearful to leave your job or talk to your boss? Identifying these experiences can help to contextualize the anxiety and get a better understanding of where it’s coming from.
2. GET CURIOUS
Gain clarity on whether the past is also playing a role in the fear of leaving. Working with a therapist can be particularly beneficial in identifying any beliefs or emotional patterns that are being triggered by leaving a job and in understanding how much of this anxiety is being caused by the situation at hand. Being able to separate the past from the present can help with the overwhelm that often accompanies anxiety.
3. UNDERSTAND SHIFTING IDENTITY
For most high-achieving individuals, a job is never just a job. This means that leaving a job is about more than simply starting a new experience, it’s about identity. Understanding the deeper meaning that accompanies life transitions helps you validate the fear that you maybe experiencing. As our identity shifts, it is completely understandable and expected that core beliefs, past experiences, and powerful emotions are summoned.
4. RESIST THE URGE TO AVOID
Once you’ve identified the anxiety and contributing factors, it's time to sit with it. Sitting with anxiety may cause discomfort but it’s crucial to sit with what is coming up for you so that you can respond to the situation mindfully and strategically rather than reactively. Anxiety often creates a sense of urgency and can make us act impulsively. Resisting the urge to go with your impulses can make room for a more intentional choice. The reactivity you’re experiencing may be the most familiar one and will feel true for you in the midst of emotions, but you may be missing the whole picture at the same time. The more that comes up for you around quitting your job, the more space you’re encouraged to give it. It’s common for people to avoid looking at their anxiety and just jump ship when anxiety comes up. This can be counterproductive to what we are trying to accomplish, which for most people would be not burning the bridge with your previous manager.
5. MANAGE ANXIETY WITH TOOLS
Sitting with anxiety goes hand in hand with managing it. Learning and engaging tools to self soothe such as mindfulness exercises, deep breathing, or getting out into nature can ease the impact of anxiety. Stepping outside of the challenging situation will likely give you more clarity on how to best approach your manager. Connecting with trusted friends to talk about the challenge you’re facing can help sort out your thoughts about the situation and gain perspective through an outsider’s lens.
6. HAVE THE CONVERSATION FROM A PLACE OF COLLABORATION
Once you have taken the time to sit with your anxiety, identify the causes and manage the effects, you would be in a better position to approach the task of leaving your job. Having taken care of your own emotional needs, you can now shift perspective and ask yourself, “how would I want my staff to approach the situation if I were the manager?” While you may be ready to move on, showing that you are sincere in leaving your workplace in a kind and considerate manner goes a long way. Recognize the needs of the other party. Ask your boss what would help to minimize the impact of your departure on their business. This might mean giving them as much of an early notice as possible or offering to help train your replacement. The best way to maintain a relationship when leaving a job is through collaboration — it will help you make more allies and feel more positive as you move on to the next phase of your career.
Need support managing your anxiety about work-related issues? Contact us to set up a brief consultation call and find out how we can help you.