How to Manage Perfectionism

We probably all know a perfectionist, whether it be ourselves or someone else. What is perfectionism? Most broadly, it describes:

• A pattern of behavior that operate to an extreme, negatively affecting other life areas. This can look like overthinking, allocating excessive time to decision making, obsessive rumination, deep seated self-doubt, and high sensitivity to criticism.

Such lifestyle orientations can often make an individual more vulnerable to symptoms of burnout, depression, OCD, anxiety, and even eating disorders.

So how can we start to go about addressing these perfectionist tendencies?

• Cultivate Compassion

Remember that perfectionism has a function. At some point in their development, the individual has learned that they need to perform without flaws and avoid any mistakes in order to feel safe and affirmed. It has become their way of reducing the pain of rejection and discomfort. Developing a sense of compassion helps the individual learn to recognize what this response is driven by and begin to explore how they might cultivate intrinsic feelings of acceptance, connectedness, and worth.

• Shift Mindset

What usually continues to perpetuate unhealthy perfectionism is the exaggerated and often catastrophizing thought of what might happen should they make a mistake or deliver unsatisfactory work. Perfectionists have become experts at anticipating worst case scenarios and it’s these automatic thoughts that keep them from enjoying their work or taking any risks. Challenging oneself to question these thoughts, to test the waters, and take mental and emotional risks is imperative to addressing symptoms of anxiety and insecurity.

• Celebrate

Because unhealthy perfectionism is negatively reinforced, individuals will often find it challenging to be able to relish when things go well and they succeed. Rather than being able to enjoy it, they may only experience temporary relief from their inner critical voice. Recognizing and relishing in the joy of your accomplishments allows you to interpret events differently. When individuals choose to take the time to celebrate themselves, they are choosing to acknowledge and place value in who they are as opposed to simply what they can do.

If you are struggling with perfectionist behaviors in your life, it can be beneficial to reach out to a mental health professional to learn evidence based interventions useful for addressing lifestyle changes.